Have you ever had something on you that you just couldn’t shake? Nothing physical really, but something you have carried with you and struggled to move from. Forgiveness is something that I have fought with
going on the past two years. It made my heart cold and hard. Whenever I was broken, I put the pieces of myself back together in all the wrong ways. I was not the same as I was before; I had changed. The hatred and anger I had inside of me was like a disease I carried, and it affected everything I did. I was free from everything toxic, but I would not allow myself to fully accept this new freedom.
It is utterly exhausting carrying something like that with you for so long, unable to let go and be free. I had talked it into the ground. Constantly digging it back up and trying to bring it back to life. I had gone to the alter with this on my shoulders, but I always picked it back up before I returned to my seat. I spent numerous nights praying and asking Jesus to take this away from me. I was tired of feeling this way. However, recently something has changed in me, and I’d love to share.
I like to think with age, you grow more mature. Of course this isn’t always the case. When I was younger, my favorite time of year was summer. Now with more wisdom and maturity, my seasonal love have shifted to fall. I amuse myself on a regular basis, do not be fooled.
But, anyway. Back to fall. Fall is just around the corner right. Bonfires, flannel shirts (my fav), the fair, football season–you’re following me. Something that also comes along with fall, is Halloween and pumpkin carving and all those especially fun activities. Whenever you carve a pumpkin, before you do the actual sculpting of the face, you have to take out all of the nasty stuff on the inside. Now, this is a vital step in the pumpkin carving process, because if you leave some stuff in there-your figure will be distorted in the dark and no one will be able to see what you’ve created. After all of that is out, then you can begin your art.
This might sound silly, but Jesus has shown me that I’m that pumpkin. I cannot get this image out of my head, and I’ve carved maybe two pumpkins in my entire lifetime. Right now, He is getting all of the nasty stuff out (unforgiveness).
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17
I’m loving that exclamation point because it is definitely exciting news. I chose this verse because the person that was broken and tried to put the pieces back together in the wrong ways, is gone. Earlier I typed “going on” and kept it, but struck through it to emphasize that it is no longer a continuous thing. I trust God because I know that whenever He finishes taking out all of the stuff that holds me back from doing His work, that I’ll be sculpted into a new person. Through Him, I am new again.
Whatever is holding you back, release it, shake it off, hit the Quan it off. Whatever you prefer, just do it. Accept freedom through Him, go carve a pumpkin because it’s you, too.